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How can we stop attracting the men that cause us pain?

  • Posted on November 15, 2017 at 12:55 pm
Balance On Purpose

As I starting writing this blog post I first off realised I NEEDED TO CHANGE the TITLE from “How can we stop attracting the MEN (or WOMEN) that cause us pain?” to “How can we stop attracting SEXUAL LOVE that cause us pain? Actually that feels a little uncomfortable and edgy naming “sexual love” but it is definitely more accurate!   It is more correct in another way too, because it helps us SHIFT AWAY from being in the victim energy which is all yucky and is about what is being done to us without any blame on us. It…

Letting go of bad relationships

  • Posted on April 20, 2016 at 12:36 pm

My relationship issues stemmed from many lifetimes ago (in fact 9 lifetimes ago!). I had got into a relationship but was unhappy and it was not a good match for either of us. It would have been frowned upon to leave the relationship in that time period- but I could have done so if I had chosen to and faced the public’s opinion of me even if awkward I would have been happier! I had not wanted to go back on my vows of marriage as well as I had married young thinking all would be ok naively! Even though I had great friends and met other people who could have become my “Soulmate” partner I chose to stay in my unhappy marriage and for all my life then not experience loving romance and joyful companionship. Coming back into my life now I will describe what this has shown up like in this lifetime. Since I was a teenage girl finding my way with love relationships I always chose situations that made me feel deeply unhappy in love. Starting with hesitating to go after my heart and who I liked, then liking boys that would end up being rude or crude (so unlike my happy ways!) and then if I did find a boy who was nice I would end up thinking up some reason why it was “wrong” and make myself really unhappy so I couldn’t enjoy it anyway! All because I was unconciously choosing for myself to be “unhappy” in love relationships.

Jennifer Smith

So it got worse when I started dating boys in long-term relationships “going steady”. I was never quite sure how it happened but I always seemed to work really hard to win the heart of a man – only to find out he was completely unsuitable for me! How can it be? I thought to myself I am a good judge of character – I was always sensitive to what other people said/behaved like and I could pick up on peoples aura’s if they were really negative. But even though I picked great girl-friends and had great mates around me I still picked boys that would not match my sensitive caring nature!

I used to explain it away to myself by saying “you can’t help who you fall in love with” but I was actually choosing men who I would be incompatible with and who I would therefore make myself unhappy to be with them! I was doing it all to myself by picking them specifically!

My mind was always full of doubts about my relationship at the time. As if I knew it was wrong but couldn’t see how.

To be honest by the time I was in my thirties I really wasn’t sure why I had not been happier or “luckier” in love. But I was committed to living a happy life and achieving what I really wanted in life to look back on in my old age which was to have a family of my own and be surrounded by grandchildren and hopefully great-grandchildren! I didn’t give up! I was set on finding out how to move forward and attract my soulmate and the journey started by working out what I was doing to make myself have bad relationships and I had to do a lot of work releasing the unhappiness with love AND replacing it with what I loved doing. Boy am I glad I took the time to go deeply inside myself and reflect on what I was doing to then be able to attract my Soulmate and husband and at the same time build a life doing my hearts desires instead of being unhappy in love!

Balance On Purpose

I mentioned in my previous post here that I didn’t recognise Steve as my Soulmate when I met him the first time because I was trapped by love in an unhappy relationship. But because I had done so much work in attracting to myself my hearts desires I manifested a meeting with him – in rural France no less! And I recognised that he was someone who would make me happy and not unhappy, someone I could travel with and be positive with!  I was given a second chance to step into a relationship with him and I grabbed it! And now we’ve been married two years this August with our baby Seren as the icing on the cake 🙂 and what a sweet delight it is having my family at last.

I’d love to help you go deeply into yourself releasing any unhappiness or other form of negativity that is specifically holding you back from attracting your soulmate to you and that is stopping you making your life how you want it with your hearts desires in it!

I’ve got just three spots for one to one VIP healing clients which I would love to invite you to apply for. Please click here for more details on how to do so.

To your shining love and positivity

Jennifer xxxx

Balance On Purpose

How to find and get your Soulmate

  • Posted on March 19, 2016 at 10:18 am

Finding a Soulmate means

  1. Being able to be loved and loving them back in complete balance.
  2. Sharing romantic love so you can have not only a companion for life but physical love and affection in a beautiful way that brings you joy
  3. That life become so much more – more fun, more special than you could ever have imagined without your Soulmate.

Balance On Purpose

It does take work to build a harmony in life with another Soul, BUT not the sort of work that you might immediately think!

It takes work in the sense that you must be ready to meet the person who can be your Soulmate, and be ready to be inspired to live a full life.

AND you must work at being able to let go of old  relationship issues so you can “get into” your Soulmate relationship in that very moment when you meet them!

If you are not ready and haven’t let go of old relationship problems that you have, you won’t make the step into the relationship – why ever not you say? If you have just met the man (or woman) of your dreams what stops us recognising they will be great for us and stops us jumping into the new relationship and adventure?

Big reason #1 (I’ve done this reason a few times myself and know what it feels like!!)

This is being trapped by LOVE. We are kind and spiritual people who love to love and be around love. Being in a love relationship feels great as it is all about LOVE! But what if the relationship is not right for us? Maybe we are lacking in fun. Also it could be we are lacking in kindness from our partner or lacking in genuine affection. As a kind and gentle soul who wants everyone to be happy you will find it so hard to leave a relationship, and we feel as if we have to be in it forever. As if by saying yes I’m in an agreement and now I can never leave it…. even if we are unhappy with lots of parts of our life and with many parts of the relationship. We are not living life how we really want to but we feel we cannot leave the person. In fact we WANT to be in love and we even put all our efforts into making it work. Very exhausting!

Big reason #2  (I have done this to myself too but not anymore)

This is accepting into our life abusive relationships. Maybe physically but very often emotionally and mentally, because we don’t realise that we are accepting abusive because it’s only in the form of words and controlling our feelings and actions instead of suffering physical attack. We accept manipulation of our feelings and actions as par for the course so we do not believe we can be truly that happy in a Soulmate relationship. I was always more unhappy when in a relationship and felt freer when on my own, but I so wanted to build my life with a family that I kept persevering and gradually improved my own view on how relationships should be until I’d worked out I’d been accepting much less than a nice way of being treated by a partner!! In fact I didn’t recognise the Soulmate when I did meet him the first time because I was trapped by love in an unhappy relationship.


So here is what NOT TO DO to avoid these problems and attract and grab your Soulmate to you!


  • Don’t have indefinite time limits to resolve a relationship issue (or issues!) if you are unhappy.
  • Don’t ignore it if you feel you should be spoken to better, dont say just one more time and accept being made to feel horrible.
  • Don’t pretend you are happy if you lack romance and affection even cuddles and kisses.
  • Don’t accept separate lives! If you are always doing things on your own remember you could be doing them with your soul mate instead and having oodles more fun!


If you would like to find out and release the hidden causes of why you accept abusive relationships or go deeply into your past and past lives to resolve why you are stuck in love and can’t find your Soulmate then a Soul realignment* soul purpose reading is perfect for you. Click here for more details!


Love and light as always

Jennifer Smith

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